Evening

Yesterday evening I took a vehicle whose last stop is at Odeon Cinema. We get there and as guys are alighting, this man starts complaining about where the vehicle has stopped at.

“Si mlisema mnafika Muthurwa?” He complained.

“Hapa ni Muthurwa!” the Tout shot back.

The man didn’t have anything to answer back. He just alighted meekly. I really felt sorry for him. He had a lot of luggage with him. On the other hand, I was also tickled, it was one funny comeback from the tout. I started walking chuckling to myself.

In the next instant, I was brought up short by some abrupt commotion. People were scampering to safety to get away from some guy on a wheel chair who was bearing down on the street at an alarming speed. I couldn’t believe his gall. And he wasn’t pausing. 

He just kept coming and coming and wasn’t even making any attempts to excuse himself. I quickly jumped out of the way too. I didn’t want to risk losing a limb just because of an ornery and aggravated fellow in a wheel chair.

And another day went by.

Adam

We all have friends, some genuine others not so genuine. We have people in our lives whom we can tell just about anything. Then we have those who serve different purposes; those to go out with, those who take you shopping, those who are just a statistic in our phone books-we hear from these like once in six months. You get my point anyway.

I don’t know where Adam exactly lands because he is everything I want him to be and so much more. He knows when I just need to vent and when I need some sound advise drummed into my head. You could say he maintains the balance in my life. What I love about him is that he can criticize me openly without holding back and oh boy can he open up. He tells me when am being a bitch and when I am acting cowardly.

There are many times I have threatened him and told him to keep off my life. I am glad he’s never listened. He is one person I can count on to be there through the bad and good times. We have been through a lot of stuff me and Adam. He was there when some street kid hurled feaces at me one bright Monday morning as I was headed to work. 

Luckily, most of it landed on my shoes and all I had to do was buy new shoes. Even then, he didn’t laugh and it was one funny sight-though I didn’t think so at that moment. I was so furious and wanted to give that kid the beating of his life. Adam led me to a Bata shop with this funny look on his face; it was only later that I realized it was because I smelled like shit! I had to fit the shoes outside, they didn’t allow me inside and only Adam stood next to me patiently as I got the new shoes and he disposed off  the old ones.

That’s just one of the many times he’s been there. And later as we walked on with me in my new shoes, he gave in to his laughter and made me smile too. Sometimes it scares me that it all started in a matatu one random morning. I wonder how it would all have turned out if I hadn’t forgotten to carry my wallet. I may never have known him and this to me is a scary thought.

I am just glad that I have him and that he’s been around even when everyone seemed to be walking out of my life.

My good friend

I have had a multitude of experiences as a commuter on the Kenyan roads. Some pleasant and others downright ugly. But there is one memory that stands up way above the rest. It was a routine morning. I boarded a matatu as usual and everything was going along fine until it was time to pay fare.

I looked in my hand bag for my wallet and could not find it. I was rendered speechless. I madly ransacked inside for awhile and could not find anything. I literally emptied everything on my lap to no avail. Not even spare change that I had failed to place inside my wallet.

I realized then that I must have left my wallet behind at home when I switched bags just before I left. Panic set in. I knew if the tout came and asked me for the cash and I didn’t have any, there would be hell to pay. I eyed him coming towards me warily. I knew I had to do something before he got any closer. I could already imagine the insults that would be thrown at me before I was ungraciously thrown out of the vehicle.

While I was still contemplating what to do, the person seated next to me patted me on the shoulder and said he would pay for me. For the second time that morning, I was shell shocked. I had not bothered to look at him before but now I took a good look at him.

“I noticed you are having problems locating your wallet. Let me pay for you” he said.

I knew this was the only option I got and it would be stupid to refuse it. So I graciously accepted his offer and a disaster was averted. Just in the nick of time if I may add ; The tout had just reached my side.

Nevertheless,  I still had the second part of my journey to take to get to work and I didn’t even have a single shilling. I wondered if it would be polite to “borrow” some more money from my newly found friend. I knew I had to do something before we got to town where I would be stranded.

Since we had struck up conversation, I kept looking for a chance to ask if it was possible for him to lend me some more money. Before I gathered enough courage to do it, he was already offering saying he knew I would be stranded without any cash. I couldn’t believe it. He was someone who barely knew me yet he was going the extra mile to help out. Of course I questioned his motives, but I was too relieved to raise any objections. 

When we alighted, he shook my hand, bid me farewell and turned to walk away. I was not going to let him go just like that. I called him back and asked for his number, told him I would call him in the evening and pay him back. He said he didn’t want me to pay him back, that it was his good deed for the day-this with a cheeky grin. 

And that is how I met my very good friend Adam. I‘ll tell you more about him in my next post.

What keeps me going

Today I did not feel like coming to work. It was drizzling and very cold and I just wanted to keep on sleeping. I kept thinking of excuses I could come up with just so I could skip checking in at the office. All the ideas I came up with were speedily brushed off immediately since none seemed genuine nor convincing enough. So I forced myself out of bed and proceeded to shower.

Now, I have two housemates. Between the three of us, I am the one who wakes up the earliest. While am struggling to get under that shower, they are snoring away. It isn’t the best situation to wake up in I tell you, but I manage it. I always think about the breakfast I was going to have when I got to the office. That’s usually my number one incentive.

My number two incentive is the fact that I always have a book with me to read on the matatu. I usually make a point of having one in my handbag so that whenever am bored I flip a few pages.  But my major incentive is that I have to pay rent at the end of the month.  My job is the only source of income I got, and I cannot afford to screw it all up.

So I wake up each and everyday, regardless of how much I hate it, and get ready to go to the office. It doesn’t matter that I wish I could just stay in bed. When you are employed, what you feel like counts for nothing. Your boss is the one literally running your life. He/She is the one who decides when you wake up and when you can head for home.

That is why I look forward to becoming my own employer someday. A time when I’ll be answerable to no one but myself. When no one will dictate to me when I can go for lunch or when its okay to pick up my phone calls. A time when I won’t be sweating profusely and tightly crossing my fingers when getting to the office whenever I am late.

All these thoughts kept running through my head when I boarded a matatu and started off for town. The man seated next to me didn’t smell so nice and his elbow kept jabbing on my ribs at repeated intervals. I was still sleepy and could hardly keep my eyes open. It was raining pretty heavily by then and I had mud on the soles of my feet. I felt depressed.

The only thing that kept me going was hope. The belief that everything will get better in the future. That no matter how bleak things seemed at the moment, a ray of sunshine would someday shine down on me. And looking at the faces of my fellow passengers, I was probably not the only one who felt like this.

A woman

The time I usually spend in a matatu is usually my time to think. My mind wanders a lot, pondering about different things going on in my life. I think about work and the money I make. I think about my bills and especially the pending ones. I think about my debts and how am going to pay all of them back. I think about my love life.

I wonder if all the dreams I have set my eyes on will ever come true. I fantasize too and I watch the people I am with in the vehicle. I wonder what’s going on in their minds as well, since many usually have this far away look in their eyes. Staring listlessly ahead and fighting their own private demons. I look at them and wonder if they are thinking the same things I think about. I wish I was able to get into their heads and find out what goes on in there.

Tuesday was the eve of Madaraka day. To me it was just like a Friday since I wasn’t working the next day. I didn’t want to think about my problems and the fact that I was flat broke. I just wanted to be grateful of the fact that I didn’t have to be anywhere the next day and I could do whatever I wanted-even spend the whole day in bed.

I delayed as much I could in town before I boarded a vehicle for home. I chose a seat next to a window and sat back to enjoy the ride. There were two ladies seated behind me conversing in low tones. Now, I am not an eavesdropper, I never even want to listen to other people’s problems since I find mine are more than enough for me. But I couldn’t help overhearing their conversation. One of them was sobbing pitifully-this was actually what made me start listening to them in the first place.

She had just lost her job and did not know what to do. I gathered she was a single mother of one who now did not have an idea of how she was going to support her child without a source of income. The friend was very soothing, telling her everything would be okay and that somehow she would survive. I wondered where the baby’s daddy was and felt a bit sad that I wasn’t in a position to ask. She stopped weeping when I was almost alighting.

When I got off, they also alighted. Now I wanted to look at her face. I wanted to see how she was holding up since her story had really moved me. I slowed down till they caught up with me. When they were close enough for me to see their faces, they were sharing a private joke and were both in stitches. They doubled over with laughter giggling like two small girls. I was shocked, since I couldn’t even tell which one of them had been crying. You couldn’t be able to tell that a few minutes ago, one of them had been weeping her eyes out.

They were now laughing, their problems put aside for the moment. I felt like I had imagined the whole thing. But one thing that stood out for me was that a woman is a very strong person. She may be hurting really bad, her world may be crumbling all around her, but she’ll still put forth a brave face to the world. You would never guess exactly what was happening in her life if you weren’t privy to it. My problems faded away at that moment. I was sure I would overcome them whichever way possible. After all, I am a woman too!